Every year on the forums, there's a thread called the "Adopt A Newbie Thread." This is where first year participants post something about themselves and their novels as well as a request for a mentor. This has its advantages. For one thing, the newbie doesn't have to worry about being rejected. And there are always less veterans willing to mentor than there are newbies who want to be mentored. This way, potential mentors aren't swamped.
But enough about that. What is it like to be a mentor?
There are probably as many styles to mentoring as there are mentors. I'm kind of the mentor that I would have liked to have had when I was a newbie--encouraging yet not hovering. Hands-off and open-minded. I don't adopt according to genre, but I have to admit that I skip over people who want word war buddies or someone who goads rather than inspires. I'm not very good at being mean-spirited or competitive. I send off Nanomails approximately once every week and I answer questions. I try not to talk about my own progress unless they specifically ask. Other than that, everyone is on their own.
Writing a novel in a month is a personal challenge. No one wants to hear about how your stuff is going. They want support for their own project--mentoring is not about you, but them. However, the internet is a rather limited tool. If someone wants to quit, there is no way to convince the person otherwise if their mind is made up. This does not make one a bad mentor because at least you tried.
Then, there's the other end of the spectrum. While it is bad form to gloat your humongous word count to somebody who has barely started, it's equally bad the other way around. I know MLs who openly disparage those who finish in the first week. Sure, there are probably some people who cheat. But as a mentor, even if you're a rather pokey writer like me, it is not your place to judge. One should encourage fast writers, not beat them down. Everyone has their own pace--which has absolutely no bearing on whether someone is better or worse than someone else. This is one of the reasons why I'm so glad the Nanowrimo site has implemented the feature of forum subscriptions this year. I find both the "Nano Ate My Soul" and "This is Going Better Than I'd Hoped" forums depressing.
It's also okay not to feel optimistic all the time. But I'm of the opinion that a mentor should never dump his or her woes on the newbie. Talk about your block to a writing buddy who is on equal footing with you. Talk to someone who is willing to be a sounding board. I'm personally not sure how my Nano buddies will take my ranting so I always do it in this blog where I don't expect a reply. And if random people read this and roll their eyes at my idiocy, well, I don't have to see it.
Sending off a daily message is a good idea--if you have the energy. Most of the week I'm usually swamped with too much work stuff to come up with something every day.
